Welcome to Under the Abaya!
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Welcome to Under the Abaya!
See something you want to comment on, but don’t wish to do so publicly?
Want to ask me a question privately?
Please feel use the form below to get in touch.
Thanks for stopping by!
Under the Abaya 
I appreciate your blog dear americain girl
Thank you, Dana. I appreciate you reading and taking the time to comment 🙂
I discovered your blog through Susie of Arabia’s. You are living in the KSA as a single mother? My, my…you are one courageous lady!! I like your blog, and thanks for the frequent updates! France from Canada
Hey there, France! Thank’s for stopping by! I am logistically a single mother for now (with my inlaws as help) but The Mr. does what he can from afar.
Glad you found my blog and enjoyed it 🙂 Stop by again soon!
Thank you to You for sharing your life with us. I’m a teacher from Finland and your blog gives me a rare sigh of world quit different than mine. I wish all the good to You!
i am a simple boy my age is 24 yr nd u ready well u mary me?
Very kind of you, Ali, but I’m not on the market at the moment 😀
Hi.ur blog is cool.I’m saudi lady30 years old.have 2 kids .I would like to meet u.U can visit me in my house.we are cute
.not crazy 🙂
U are welcome any time.
Hi Hanaa. I’m glad you’ve enjoyed the blog. Perhaps we could get to know each other a bit first and meet for coffee sometime 🙂
hey Hanaa … are you saudi national ? or just an expat living in saudi ?
by the way i really find saudi women beautiful and elegant. I live in dubai and see many saudi women and arab women but never got a chance to interact with them….
I would like to be able to follow your blog.
Glen, if you scroll down a bit past my picture and past the badges on the right, you’ll find “Follow My Journey” in bold letters. Click the button that says “sign me up” and you’ll get my posts via email.
A question how come saudi men need permission from the government to marry a non saudi? And what happens if they get married anyway without the saudi government permission.
I don’t know why they need permission. Presumably it is to deter Saudi men from marrying non Saudi women.
Assalamu alykom
but let me know if you are marry with a saudi man, if you are married with someone from saudi, how did you get such permission? or didn’t you need that permission?
I’m reading about your blog right now, let me find out why you are living in Saudi! Masha allah 🙂
Wa alikum salam, I am married, but separated from my Saudi husband. We did need permission for me to come here from the government. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment!
wow that’s realy surprised me when you told me you are divorce and you stay living in saudi arabia. how did you do to live like a foreigner women in that country? or did you marry again? i am so exciting about your story, i would like to know more about you, if you dont mind i can share with you my story too
i dont understand when you said you are married but separated 😦 how is that?
Hey,
I stumbled upon your blog because a friend shared it on twitter and I have to say it is nothing but the painful truth written in beautiful words. I am so sorry that you had to go through all of this. I am so sorry that you had to meet a young man who did not know better. Most importantly, I am so sorry that you got to see the ugly side of the world at such a young age. I am a man. A citizen of one of the GCC countries near by which is nothing like Saudi Arabia. Truth is young lady, there are also other sides of the story. I fell in love with an American girl 12 years ago when I was studying abroad, and when I say fell inlove I mean falling endlessly, knowing that there is no return. She loved me. At least thats what I thought. I went home, told my family, went against the two people who raised me and married this woman. I asked her if she would like to move back with me or stay in the US, she decided to move. This all happened in less than a year, I was convinced she was the love of my life. I was 23, I was an idiot. I came from a well-off family and I had a decent degree, we had a good life where none of her requests went unanswered. She had everything anyone would dream of. As the days passed by I noticed that she had a very ‘fishy’ relationship with one of her male bestfriends. They would always talk, she insisted on going to visit often. He wasn’t her best friend. As my love for her blindly increased, the money in our shared bank account continued to decrease, she would wire him money without my knowledge. Eventually when she had enough, she left, disappeared. Months later she sends me divorce papers. Its hard to believe, I don’t believe it myself, how much of an idiot I was. It’s an experience I will never forget, and a person I will never forgive. My heart was broken just as much as yours, but I managed to break free. I hope that you will too. May god, and whoever else watches upon us, help you get through this with your beautiful daughter.
Hi Jassim,
Thanks so much for taking the time to share your story. This issue is definitely NOT one sided. You sound like such a sweet and wonderful man, and I’m sorry that you were betrayed and hurt. Love truly does make us blind, but I’ve learned that heartbreak not only helps us to see clearly, but helps us to grow as well.
As for me, I’m happy that I’ve learned the lessons I’ve learned. I only hope to make the best life for my daughter and someday have one for myself.
All the best to you and thanks again for responding!
So sorry that you two have had to experience this. Hopefully love will find you soon.
Thank you, Glen! I am loved…just waiting on freedom 🙂
Hey Mandi, My name is Talha I am from Pakistan, I was searching some Abaya’s online for my wife and I dont know how I ended up finding your blog, This is amazing the way you dealt with your situation, you know what I was thinking of a Girl having smile in her face and pain in her heart. May Allah help you to overcome your situation. So far I read only some of your posts and I can say that you very open minded woman and willing to accept any kind of comments and advises (I dont know if it is advice or advise my english is not that good). I would like to say just do not expect any thing from any one even not from your kid I know you are not but Human nature.
Sister, Just one more thing I have not read any positive post about Saudia so far may be its in your blog and I have not reached their yet, but yes there is so many negative aspects but there is some good things as well here in Saudia, like no unmarried mothers or very less. Just a thought.
Keep up the goof work your blog must help lots of girls who are about to be ditched.
Regards,
Talha
Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment. You’re right, I’m always smiling 🙂
I admit, I don’t write a lot about the positives of Saudi because this blog is largely about my life (which happens to be taking place in Saudi) and not about Saudi as a country.
There are positives and negatives here, just like any other place in the world. Sometimes for me it’s hard to remember that.
Here is an article I wrote about some good things in KSA if you’re interested: http://www.expatsblog.com/contests/284/top-5-reasons-why-living-in-saudi-arabia-is-great
its not about saudi men or whatever. its about islam, a good muslim follow the saying of Allah and the proper teaching of our prophet SAW. the problm is about your american girls, if you are going to marry a foreigner definitely there are alot to consider, tradition, culture,religion etc why will you ignore all these and went ahead with it in the name of love? iam sorry if i sound harsh but the girls should blame themselves not saudi men.
I don’t understand what you’re getting at here, Hauwa. If it’s about Islam and Saudi boys are raised as Muslims who KNOW the rules and regulations of Islam all the while still choosing to mess around with non-Muslim girls…how is it that the girls are the problem? Why is it that the girls should consider the boys’ tradition, culture, religion, etc but the boys are not expected to? If you knew a Saudi boy in a relationship like this, would you encourage him to go to church and learn about his girlfriend’s religious traditions? Something tells me you’re a little hypocritical in your views.
stumbled on this blog. just wanted to express solidarity. well writing is a great healer as am sure you would know. recently there was an international cry on the case of a Norwegian woman who was raped in Dubai and put to jail as she had had sex outside marriage. the man was also jailed, btw. but because of the international attention, she was freed eventually. i guess you could come up with a book or something, if one looks at your situation from a distance, it does seem publish-worthy material. more on the lines of ‘an american in paris’, etc. i am sure a publisher would be willing to take it up, and once the book is a hit, and it would bound to be, who knows….
(you don’t have to publish my last comment. i just wanted you to read it, not necessarily everyone)
I don’t mind 🙂 First time comments go into moderation automatically, that’s all. I appreciate the support!
I am a Canadian woman who converted to islam I find it insulting how you talk about your married life with the people over the internet marriage issues should be between you and your husband only as well even if u divorce it still should not be shared you are disrespecting islam my sister and another thing before you married this man why didn’t you stop to think about the culture aspect of things can you really be this sily like my god or did you just want to quickly marry a man so you don’t need to be alone in your life which is it not to be rude im just curious! its amazing how woman are in Saudi Arabia because it protect the woman and honors them but some of them are to stupid to open there eyes and to relize the truth and that allah made it this way if you ask me the whole world should be like Saudi Arabia allah awkbar allah awkbar allah awkbar !!!!!! you give a bad name for western woman no wonder why Saudi men find it hard to trust some western woman such a pitty!!!! but I know not all Saudi men think bad they have intellengence well enough to know not all western woman are decivable like you! (or fingers on our hand are al different theyre not the same) I have a youtube account check it out if you want allahs ameriah is the name feel free to contact me anytime
ma salama sister
You, my Canadian “sister”, are a hot mess. Here are some bits of free advice for you:
1. Study your religion. This will help you to understand things such as not publicly advising your brothers or sisters in faith, making 70 excuses for your brother when you see him erring, and how education is of vital importance, which will lead me to my next piece of advice in just a moment. It will also allow you to understand that what Islam teaches and what Saudi Arabia practices are NOT IN ANY WAY one and the same.
2. Study the English language. Learn about sentence structure, spelling, and punctuation. This will help you to not look like a total tool when trolling the internet trying to give out religious advice. People don’t pay attention to those who sound plain old dumb.
3. Go ahead and find a Saudi prince to marry. Assuming of course you can make him understand that you’re not like the rest of your Canadian/American/Western “sisters” and that you’re just a GEM…and then write to me after a few years of living here. Let me know how that works out for you.
4. If what I write here offends you in any way, you are free to ignore it. That’s the cool thing about the internet. You can totally just move on!! There is no need to expend your precious energy you could have used to worship Allah to be an asshole to me.
5. Again, please consider studying English a little more. It was a CHORE to decipher your comment.
now u made the little guy sitting on my left shoulder chuckle! 😀 …. I couldn’t have said it better… btw…. I don’t know if she’s really a woman or not…. but for sure what she is not is a native english speaker… even this spaniard could notice! 😉 …. well said, señorita!
Dear Natasha, I’m a born muslim (Arabian descent) and come from a good muslim family. You are a convert (Alhamdullillah),BUT I find your comments to be very judgemental, hypocritical and misleading of Islamic Etiquette. Kindness and Mercy that is Allah, is definitely not what you have discovered! Perhaps you still have plenty to learn before you start preaching to people!
Good for you, sister! Okay, my ? is this: Do you know whether the Saudi government will assist an American wife of a Saudi man who has been abandoned (along with their 4 children) here in the States. He has left her 10 years ago, taken another wife in Saudi Arabia, and does not provide appropriate support for the family.
The wife would have to get in touch with the folks at the Saudi Embassy in DC to get answers on that. I’ve not been in the situation, but I’ve heard they take these cases pretty seriously.
Hi Abayah
I am so sorry about what you are going through now . I understand your pain and suffering as I am a son of a Saudi Dad and an English mother ( who I never saw her in my life except once ) .
The only thing I want to say : Please do not let her grow up in that country if u can . I know it is hard at the moment but do your best if you can .
I know you may not believe in Christmas now and you may not also believe in Jesus as your Lord and Savior . But I pray that may the Lord ( Jesus Christ ) be with and your daughter and you can see his light in your life . And help you in this time to know him , have peace , joy and encouragement to go through this difficult time .
( Former Saudi Citizen )
Thanks for taking the time to write, Matt. I’d like to hear more about your story if you’d be willing to share, even privately. Were you raised in Saudi without your mother?
Hi Mandi
I will be travelling to Riyadh shortly to teach English at a university. I’m glad I read your blog, I did know about the restrictions, but I haven’t read how it has really impacted on women’s lives. I’m nervous, anxious, but looking forward to a challenge (which I hope is achievable!)
Best of luck to you!!! If you need anything at all while you’re here please feel free to get a hold of me 🙂
thanks!
Hi Mandy,
Very happy I stumbled across your blog. I have quite the decision to make and it definitely gave me some perspective. I am an American girl with a fiancé who will be moving to Saudi Arabia for work. As newlyweds I feel it will be important to go with him but feeling extremely doubtful because of the lifestyle I will have to endure. I will be living on a “compound” with fellow Americans during our time there but fear the simpliest tasks such as even arriving at the air port. My fiancé would like me to go, but of course supports my decision to stay. Do you have any advice for me?
Thanks,
Kay
Hi Kay 🙂 You should absolutely go and give it a try. Life as an expat on a compound here is pretty cushy and it will be a chance to experience a part of the world most people will never get to experience. Go for it!
Thanks! Really appreciate your opinion!
Hey there,
I stumbled across your blog while googling the life of a Saudi Arabian woman and what it is like. I am Canadian and studying in Germany and therefore have no direct connection, but regardless have always been extremely interested in the Middle East and their customs/culture. Your blog has answered a lot of questions and given a really interesting and truthful glimpse into your life- thank you. Please write a book! I would be the first to buy it.
Keep up the good work- I plan to follow your blog from now on.
Thank you for reading 🙂
Hello Mandi, I stumbled across your blog during those nights thinking endlessly how my relationship can be salvaged from evaporating soon. Maybe because I am may not be the long distance relationship type of guy. I must say that you are courageous and yet careful in discussing your daily experiences. I admire the way you write! 🙂
I am from the Philippines. My gf is or will be flying to Riyadh, Saudi in less than 3 months to work as a nurse. Putting it plainly, I do not like it and I am against it. Her family lives there. She was born and raised here by her aunts so she can finish her Nursing Degree. We both have decent work here in our country and even earn more compared to 60% of the working class (atleast that’s how I see it). But her father simply wants her to move there and work.
I know this may be an additional work for you. But please help me understand how Filipino Women or Filipino Nurses are being treated there. How is life as a Filipino Woman in Saudi? You do not really need to publish it, if you can, please send me an email at olfu@live.com.
Karl
Hi Karl. It sounds like you’re having a rough emotional time thinking about your gf being away, and in a place that holds so many unknown circumstances to boot. Unfortunately, if this is something that she wants to do, or something that she is being pressure by her family to do, there’s probably not much that you can do to stop her.
I really can’t tell you much about how Filipino women or nurses are treated here because I am not a Filipino woman and I’ve not worked in the medical field here, but I can tell you what I’ve observed. Non Arabs and non Westerners are not always treated with as much respect as they deserve, Asians especially. She may face tough times, but with a family here to support her and a MASSIVE Filipino expat population, she will overcome these tough times and will come out of the experience of working in Saudi a much stronger person.
I know it’s rough, but try to be supportive of her. She will need your support when she’s here.
Im in love with undertheabaya. Thank you so much for the power you are giving me with every email i recieve. Best Regards. Gunay Akram.
Awww thanks for the love! Welcome and please join in on the comments sections!
just wonder if the Pure Body KSA beauty products are available in the USA? For example I a still in USA can I still order? or just wait a few weeks until I arrive in KSA? THANK YOU! Keep seeing the scrumptious products and want to order the coconut stuff and lip balms, and do you have stuff for pregnant bellys such as stretch mark products? or just apply the virgin coconut oil full strength? THANK YOU Mandi!
?
I will take some with me if I get to go home this summer, but we can’t ship most things to the states because of temperature control issues. It’s better tow ait until you’re here. We have a nipple cream for nursing mothers that actually works for growing tummies too. Or you can use the lotion bar which has coconut oil, beeswax, and Shea butter.
ok I understand the heat factor the products would pretty much be liquid if you were to ship to USA…Nipple cream is awesome as I am going to be breast feeding my lil one,and it seems like a plus if it can be used on growing tummies! BTW My husband and I did donate to your going home donation not tons of money but some since we are making our move it so expensive! I will check back and see if you are in USA before we leave to Saudi, if not I find you in KSA when I arrive I have showed my husband your awesome products and he wonders if you have any mens products? Or see it happening in the future? husband is allergic to lots of heavy perfumed stuff and I think your line is perfect for him.I will be in Saudi on around the 20th of June.If you happen to be home enjoying your family I hit you later…do you a baby line? For babies? Thank you!
Thank you so much for contributing.
We don’t have anything specifically for men but most of the products are suitable for men and women and many things also are good for babies. I’d recommend you just stay away from anything with fragrance unless it’s a natural one, considering your husbands allergy and the tendency for babies to be sensitive to them. When you get here you can check some things our for yourself 🙂
OK THANK YOU! and NO I am not shouting just noticed cap lock was on!!! LoL