The state of my love life is always directly proportional to the amount of Sex and the City I’m watching. And I’ve been watching a hell of a lot of my four old gal pals these days.
You see, I have a knack for attracting men who don’t want the same things I want. Most probably because I have a knack for meeting men in the wrong ways. I’m also great at ignoring the fact that a man isn’t looking for what I’m looking for when I really like him, which leads to me staying longer than I should and trying harder than any sane person would to make it something it’s not meant to be.
What is it I’m looking for? Marriage. Nothing out of the ordinary. Just your basic, peaceful, normal life with someone. And the only men who have expressed interest in marrying me as of late have been taxi drivers. And I’m beat.
Although the local way of finding a spouse does seem like a fantastic idea, I happen to lack the key ingredient for the arranged marriage scenario to work out: family. So I have, up until this point, tried things the old fashioned American way: Meet someone. Get to know them. Feel a connection. Invest time and energy and feelings. Realize that things will never go any further. End up disappointed. Repeat until forever, apparently. It’s just not working out for me, you guys. I just can’t.
I’ve agreed to complete a 30 day commitment challenge with a coworker and with the encouragement of my best friend B, I am going to try to use these next 30 days to focus on myself. I’m going to do lots of praying, a little exercising, and some forgotten reading. I’m hoping a spiritual/physical/intellectual realignment will at the very least help me to remember that I’ll be okay until someone eventually comes along.
Under the Abaya 
Probably the last thing you want to hear are old and worn out cliches, l am sorry but I just can’t help myself. Quit looking and love in the form of some nice, (feel in the blank)man will appear. I can’t imagine how difficult finding someone in The Kingdom must be,I even lived there for a couple of years in the early 70s and back then Saudi society ,at least in the cities was more tolerant then now. Believe me as a teenager I was very motivatived to meet guys and it was not easy. Lol. Is there maybe somebody in your life that can act as family ? Taking some time out to take care of you is a great idea, the more comfortable you are in your own skin,the more appealing you will be to others. Yuck, the more helpful I try to be,the more annoying I get. I wish the best for you,you deserve the best, the decisions you have made and the life you have chosen to live so your daughter could be secure,happy and able to thrive are remarkable. Not many could or would do what you have done. Hang in there your prince is out there.
Honestly I am currently clinging to a handful of old cliches and hoping that as soon as I stop “looking” he will appear. So cliche away!
I wish you could prevail upon the families of some of your Saudi friends to take you on as a marriageable daughter, of sorts. Maybe they could find someone through their networks.
I don’t think a lot of people would be willing to take on a feisty 30-something divorced single American mom. But hey, I’m open to the idea.
Hi,
just a different approach… What do you think about internet dating? Saudis like all the middle eastern are very keen using this kind of dating!
Cheers
Uwe
Nope! Not for me.
It seems from what I have read in your blog that Saudi Arabia might not be the strict traditional and religiously devoted haven I thought I found out about. Just hearing “no adultery, no porn, no alcohol, no drugs, no public mingling between the sexes, no half naked women walking around, strict religious devotion, etc.” fascinated me because I think those things are what makes westernized society hell for me. I only could imagine that this meant for religiously devoted families, thus religiously devoted while still authoritarian husbands. Is this not actually the case? Leaving second wives out of this subject, are Saudi men like typical Western men that will leave their woman at the drop of a hat and mingle around, not following the religion?
Saudi Arabia is many things and there are many layers to society here. All of those things that you listed do exist here. But under that exterior there are dozens of ways of life that people happily live here just like anywhere else. The only difference is that whatever doesn’t match the narrative of what Saudi is supposed to be is kept very private. Think of it as the way we present ourselves. We have a public self and a private self. So does Saudi Arabia.
No, I don’t believe the average Saudi man (whatever that means) would leave his wife or stop following his religion. There are plenty of exceptions to this rule of course, but people here are really just people.