Dear Saudi Boys,
Mabrook! You’ve been given the opportunity to study abroad through either the generosity of your government or your family. What an exciting first step on your path to becoming an adult and a productive citizen of the world. I’m sure there are many things going through your mind right now, but I’m going to address only one of them: GIRLS. Your mother may have already given you a similar lecture, but I’m going to expand upon it here for a moment.
You’re likely moving to a Western country where religious laws are lax and temptations abound. You’re only going to be there for a few years, so what’s the harm in letting loose, right? Right. There will be parties to attend, dance clubs to check out, new things to smoke and drink, and loads of girls to chase. Do it all. Live it up.
Girls will come from everywhere. They will be falling at your feet. You’re the tanned, exotic, accent-wielding foreigner with plenty of spending money and no job. These girls will be much easier to get to than the ones you’re used to back home. You won’t have to chase them or pass them your number discreetly. They’ll give your theirs, along with a spare key to their apartment pretty quickly.
You’ll find a girl who is really interested in you. You won’t have to convince her or do much wooing. You won’t even have to worry about her parents finding out about you because after you sleep with her a couple times and tell her how beautiful she is, she will be delighted to introduce you to them. But you may already know about all of those things, so let me tell you some things that you may not know.
One of those girls who you spend a little extra time with will fall in love with you. To you, she’s just a girl you’re sleeping with who sleeps over sometimes. You tell a few friends about her, but you never tell your family. She’s told everyone she knows and she’s probably starting to investigate your religion and convince herself that it’s totally something she could get used to. It’s not casual to her, even if she insists that it is, so don’t fuck with her feelings.
Do not talk to one of those girls about a future, about how she will learn cooking from your mother and go shopping with your sisters. Do not discuss the fact that your mother is waiting to plan your wedding and how she will get to be the center of attention in a Saudi wedding. Do NOT EVER discuss the names of your future children with her, and how they’ll have her pretty smile and your big brown eyes and black, curly hair. She’s been dreaming about having this talk with a man for her whole life. Don’t fuck with her feelings.
At some point you may realize you’re in love with her as well. You may mention it to your family, who will likely remind you that they told you before you left that you are going to study, not to find a wife, so you’ll drop the subject with them. But you will keep seeing that girl who is head over heels for you, knowing you’ll likely break her heart in the end. This is the part where, if you DO love this girl and you DO NOT intend on going against your family’s wishes, you need to break up with her. Don’t fuck with her feelings.
If you end up getting one of those girls pregnant, don’t even think about asking her to get an abortion, give the baby up for adoption, or run off on her. You man the fuck up, stay put, and take care of your responsibility. I don’t care if your family will have a fit or if what you did will bring shame upon you. You’re an adult. Act like it. Don’t fuck with her feelings.
If you marry one of those girls and she moves with you to Saudi Arabia, remember who you married. Remember that free-spirited, energetic, talkative girl who you fell in love with. Don’t force or coerce her to become someone she’s not. You didn’t marry a Saudi girl…don’t expect her to become one. Don’t suck the joy out of her life by expecting her to become someone she’s not. You support and embrace her as she is, and as she grows. Don’t bring her here, away from everything she knows, and fuck with her feelings.
Enjoy your time studying abroad. Live it up! But remember, the girls you meet during your study abroad are not objects. They are not whores. They are not to be used for your pleasure and entertainment, only to be tossed aside when you’re done with them. They are someone’s daughter, someone’s sister, and someone’s future wife and mother. If you cannot handle the fact that one of those girls WILL fall in love with you and you’ll probably fall in love with her too, if you are not willing to go against your familial, cultural, or religious beliefs to marry one of these girls, DO NOT get involved. Don’t fuck with her feelings.
One of those girls